But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Ephesians 5:3-4

I grew up in a culture that frowned upon swearing. In my family, I wasn't even supposed to say things like "Shut up," not to mention off-color words or taking the Lord's name in vain. As far as I can remember, I heard my father and mother swear a grand total of five times in life, the majority of which were ruses to teach me and my siblings not to say those nasty words.

My church experience reinforced what I learned at home. Ephesians 5:4 and similar verses were used to teach me and my friends not to engage in "obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking." For the most part, we avoided such language, believing it to be wrong and inconsistent with our Christian commitment.

But then, sometime during my twenties, my peers and I rebelled against our strict upbringing. Though we continued to be committed Christians, we reveled in the discovery that we could swear and not be struck by a bolt of lightning from Heaven. We wouldn't do this in sermons, with our parents, or in front of the kids in our youth group, of course. But, in private, we partook in a few juicy cuss words. They helped us express our anger. They allowed us to feel that we could be Christians and still be hip. Most of all, when we said words that felt forbidden, we sensed a kind of freedom. God still loved us. We could still serve him. We didn't have to be bound by fear that a slip of the tongue would lead to divine rejection.

Perhaps you have experienced something like this in your life. It might have to do with swearing or drinking or playing cards or going to movies or doing other things that were frowned upon in your family and church. These behaviors might even have allowed you to break free from legalism that limited your experience of God's grace.

As my Christian friends and I grew older, many of us have found a deeper freedom than the one we relished in our twenties. Once we realized that God would not condemn us to Hell for using coarse language, once we sensed that God's grace covered us fully, we began to take more seriously verses like Ephesians 5:4. We began to discover a new freedom, not the freedom to say whatever we liked, but rather the freedom not to say things because they didn't please the Lord. We found new freedom to see how our words could build people up, offer respect and kindness to others, and reflect the fact that we have been created in God's image.

Now, I'm not saying that I never, ever use bad language. When I dropped a 4x4 on my foot a few weeks ago, I said a couple of words that I'd rather didn't show up on some YouTube video. Yet, at this stage of my life, when I fall into "obscenity," I no longer fear that I've committed the unforgivable sin. Rather, I know that I am forgiven, that God invites me to live without fear of judgment. But I also know that God has set me free in Christ so that I can offer all that I am to him, including every single word that I speak. These days, I would like every single word I speak to honor the Lord and to fulfill his purposes, even when I drop a heavy board on my foot.

QUESTIONS FOR FURTHER REFLECTION: As you have grown in your faith, have you had to learn to leave certain kinds of legalism behind? In the process of doing this, did you swing the pendulum too far? Do you ever find yourself saying things that would be better left unsaid? Have you discovered the freedom to choose to do that which honors the Lord?