You know what I long for, Lord;  you hear my every sigh.

Psalm 38:9

Psalm 38 was written in a time of deep anguish and exhaustion. David was physically ill, believing that his suffering was a result of his own sinful choices. Moreover, his enemies were making plans to destroy him. In desperation, he cried out to God for help, thus composing the prayer we know as Psalm 38.

In the center of this prayer, David says, “You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh” (v. 9). The original Hebrew of this verse could be translated more literally, “All my desires are before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.” David has laid himself bare before God. He has opened his heart, sharing every desire and every discouragement. He has hidden nothing from the Lord, aware that God sees all, anyway.

How do you respond to the idea that God knows all of your longings? When I consider this truth, at first I feel reassured. How good it is to remember that God knows all that I desire. But then I am caught up short. I am well aware that some of my desires are selfish and sinful. I’d rather keep these secret, or at least that’s my initial thought.

But then, as I reflect more deeply, I am once again reassured. God knows even my evil desires, yet he still loves me. God knows how easily I can seek after my own good and glory, yet he still has called me into his service. The fact that God knows every longing of my heart gives me freedom to be myself before the Lord. I don’t have to pretend when I pray. I don’t have to phrase my confession so it doesn’t sound too bad. Rather, I can freely reveal all that I am to the Lord, confident that his acceptance of me is not predicated on my goodness, but on his grace.

QUESTIONS FOR FURTHER REFLECTION: How does the thought that God knows your every longing impact you? Is this reassuring? Troubling? Encouraging? Do you ever try to hide from God? Why? What encourages you to open your heart freely and fully to him?

PRAYER: Gracious God, yes, indeed, you know what I long for. Every desire of my heart is known to you. You know the good desires, the bad, and all that’s in between. You see when I want your way and when I seek my own. You know me through and through.

And yet you still accept me through Christ. I belong to you forever, not because I am worthy, but because you have chosen me in love. Thus, I can open my life to you in the knowledge that you already know me and have embraced me through your grace.

Help me, dear Lord, to live in the reassurance that you know me through and through. May I learn to live in you each moment, communing with you, attending to your Spirit, seeking your glory.

I pray in the name of Jesus, Amen.