“But those who still reject me are like the restless sea,     which is never still but continually churns up mud and dirt.”

Isaiah 57:20

Do you ever feel like the “restless sea, which is never still but continually churns up mud and dirt”? I do, though I wish it weren’t true. I’ve been a Christian for over forty years. In that time, I’ve experienced God’s peace time and again. I remember well how, in times of worry, God has calmed my soul. Yet there are still times, far too many, when I feel like the restless sea. Late at night, I can’t sleep as my mind “churns up mud and dirt.” Anxiety can be my familiar companion, along with fear and doubt.

In these times of agitation, I have not rejected God in any intentional or lasting way. But, in a sense, I have rejected him. I’ve turned my back on his promises. I’ve closed my heart to his Spirit. I’ve decided to rely upon myself and my ingenuity rather than upon the only one who is truly and fully reliable. I’ve chosen to do that which I know to be sin. It’s no wonder that when I back away from God, I lose touch with his peace.

Yet God, in his mercy, doesn’t leave me in my restlessness. He finds ways to remind me of his presence. When I turn to him in desperation, he meets me . . . sometimes in that very moment, sometimes later. I realize that my life is never what it ought to be except when I rely fully on the Lord. As St. Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.”

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: When do you feel like the restless sea? What helps you to experience God’s peace, especially in tumultuous times?

PRAYER: O Lord, you know how easy it is for me to feel like the restless sea. In times of uncertainty, my heart can churn up mud and dirt . . . the mud of doubt, the dirt of sin. Forgive me, gracious Lord, for all the times I fail to trust you.

May I never reject you, Lord, even in small ways. Help me by your Spirit to trust you each and every day, to walk with you, to put my life in your strong and capable hands. May my heart find rest in you, so that I might live each day boldly, free from worry and doubt. Amen.