I can choose to hear the voice that declares, "It cannot be done, you are not worthy, your effort is not adequate … " Or I can listen to the voice of faith, Jesus Christ, and I can ask of myself, Whom do I choose to be in this moment?

The heavy wooden table supplies the needed protective barrier between the seven leaders of the small declining church. Time has swept past this community like a swift current, silently flowing deep below the surface that is calm and smooth to the undiscerning eye of the beholder.

On the surface the sun continues to shine and shimmer on the silken waters, yet below, the current is strong and rough, tumbling and course. It pushes and drives some life forms out of its way, while others, it snatches and drags along over rocks and through thick weeds.

The conversation around the table is broken and scattered until it turns the corner onto Ego Street. The words fly out of his mouth like spears. Sharp and piercing they land on their mark sinking deep within my most vulnerable wounds and bruises. My jaw clenches as rushing phrases, I hate people like him, flood my mind.

Do I cling to the boat?

It is in this moment that the course of the meeting is defined. It is in this moment that I can choose to define my purpose. And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. (Matt. 14:29) Do I step out of the boat in faith or do I cling to the sides as it bounces against the winds and waves?

Whether we recognize it or not, we are always seeking out purpose, and we are always manifesting our journey. The energy you exude attracts and manifests the energy and experience you will receive. It is your thought; it is your energy that creates your reality. More easily understood to be: we choose in every moment who we are going to be and what experience we are going to have. Do we choose love or do we choose fear?

Choosing to hear

My body relaxes, dissipating some of its tension as I feel the deep breath fill my lungs and release. I do not need to be emotionally fused to this man. I hear myself going through the process of checking in and recognizing that I am no longer that vulnerable child that first received gashes and cuts of disrespect. I can choose to hear the voice that declares: it cannot be done, you are not worthy, your effort is not adequate. Or I can listen to the voice of faith, Jesus Christ, and I can ask of myself, Whom do I choose to be in this moment?

Faith allows me to discern, as an ongoing, unfolding process, my purpose in any given situation. Through Christ I have the open invitation to define my purpose with the ebb and flow of life. I choose to define my purpose as an exemplar of Christ and his mission of inclusivity, peace, and reconciliation.

How do you define your purpose?